A day in the life of a Jack Russell - Day 3: Pimping my CD

So 2 years ago due to my popularity with bands (either because I'm a cute puppy or I have a radio show) and the fact that being a Jack Russell I'm completely mental (you're not meant to say that nowadays) I got 40 tracks donated and made a double CD for which the sales thereof go to the mental health awareness charity Rethink.

Well a week on Monday (20th March) I'm in Central Library in St Helens making a personal appearance (I'll try and not wee on the bookshelves) for International Day Of Happiness and to sell copies of the CD and raise more money for the charity.


If you're in the town come and hit me up (bring Bonios) for a copy and all proceeds will go to Rethink. The CD is the dog's bollocks...and I should know as I made it...it's even got a track on it donated by (countdown) 2-4-6-8 Mr Tom Robinson.

I can only hope they make me a slice of toast or two for brekkies as it's going to be a long day.  In the meantime here's a track from the Ralph's Life CD for Rethink Mental Illness by St Helens band Stillia. It's the dog's bollocks too!




Click on THIS LINK if you want to buy the CD now!


Click on THIS LINK if you want FREE tickets for Ralph's International Day Of Happiness 
on March 20th in Central Library, St Helens from 12pm to 5pm.

A day in the life of a Jack Russell - Day 2: A short span of attention

One of the more well-known traits of us Jack Russells is a short span of attention...oh look my bone...and it's not normally a problem...oh look a ball...unless like me you've got cataracts at only six years...I'm hungry...old and going progressively blind.

Now you'd think that as I realised I wasn't seeing stuff properly I'd slow down and take my time about stuff, however, the Jack Russell gene takes over and I spent a lot of my day bumping into stuff. That being said, due to the tremendous power of my dog nose I can still find socks and slippers with unerring accuracy and carry them off underneath the dining table so they'll chase me.

So currently I've managed to knock a few minor chunks out of my head, but one of the other handy traits of being a Jack Russell is showing no fear and or a complete disregard for personal safety. So I doubt I'll ever...oh look the postman...really learn to take it easy until...oh look Mum's got a bisquit...I actually go completely blind...

Never mind all that though, here's a top tune by Glasgow band the Girobabies who have a...oh look breakfast...new album out called Who Took Utopia? and this track is the very aptly titled Secret Animal.

A day in the life of a Jack Russell - Day 1: Raisin Toast and Runny Poo

The humans have been laid up with summat they call 'The Lurgi' these last three days so walkies have been far and few between. Getting a bit kennel crazy to be honest. 


This morning they gave me raisin toast for my breakfast - what's that all about? I can only assume that's why I've got a dose of the wild shites today...serves them right when they try to scoop that up with a poo bag.

The old dear's complaining about having to wash my old bed this morning (well I did rip up the new one last week) due to all the hairs I'm moulting just now. Serves them right for putting me in the kennels in a couple of weeks time while they swan off to Scotland. They said they weren't going to shave me because it'd be too cold for me in the kennels...little do they know it's heated although the wi-fi can be a bit iffy.

Anyway, they got some kind of cruel torture device to keep the hairs to a minimum, a brush I think they called it. Can't say I'm very happy about it as it's jaggy. Still, they have to catch me first.

Thought that was rabbit droppings in my poo...might have been the raisins in the toast, ah well time for a snooze...oh crap, she's got my bed in the big white TV over in the corner of the kitchen that's only got the one programme on to watch.

Anyway, here's a tune from Brighton's Fragile Creatures...

'The Next Big Thing' - Introducing poet Lynn Gerrard

'The Next Big Thing': Introducing performance poet Lynn Gerrard... 

Earlier in the week fellow blogger 'The Suddenly Kate Show' posted some questions for ‘The Next Big Thing’ and offered the questions out to three writers that she followed on Twitter.....you can click on the link above to see the response by new performance poet Lynn Gerrard AKA The Grumbling Gargoyle or click on any of the links on the Gargoyle to read and hear her work.

My favourite is Generation Text - a funny and incisive comment on Social Media in relationships.....

Too right I'm feeling angry!

Too right I'm feeling bitter!

You text me that you loved me 

Then Unfollowed me on Twitter!

I should've seen it coming

You wasn't that discreet

When you saw me put my post out

And didn't bother to Re-tweet!

Now you've gone and blocked me

Well isn't that a corker?

My name's just started trending 

'Cos you've added 'Hash Tag Stalker'!!

I thought that I was special

You 'Liked' the way I look

According to the little hand

With a thumb up on Facebook!

It's now become my mission

To see you face to face

There's nowhere I won't search for you

Well...ok..Not My Space!!!...

( I may be mental but I do have standards ).

Britain’s Best Office Dog

Ralph has been entered for Britain's best Office Dog

Britain’s Best Office Dog

Ralph's Life on Wordpress

Vicars Cafe Bistro.....Social Enterprise at it's best.....

Having looked at the Saltaire Festival last year one of the local eateries took my eye.  Vicars Cafe Bistro is a busy cafe in the very heart of the famous Saltaire World Heritage site which is run with a Christian outlook and a vision to serve the community, aiming to encourage people to look at Christianity in a different light and recently it achieved Social Enterprise status (businesses whose prime purpose is social, who operate ethically and are democratically owned and governed).





Alongside the busy Café they run an evening Bistro on Fridays and Saturdays. A selection of seasoned dishes (including meat, fish, and vegetarian options) are available, with a menu which changes on a monthly basis. From a table for one to a group of 24, they can cater to your needs so if you’re planning a celebratory meal out, why not choose Vicars?

If you're looking for a recommendation for any eatery then what more could you ask for than a visit from a Michelin Star chef.....Alan Murchison visited the cafe back in May and cooked up a storm.

He's executive chef of L'Ortolan, a restaurant in Shinfield near Reading with a Michelin star, three AA rosettes and 8/10 in The Good Food Guide.

As Managing Director of 10 in 8 Fine Dining Group, he's set himself a goal to open 10 Michelin star restaurants by 2018.  






They host several group events in the Red Room Lounge, such as the popular weekday Mum and Baby Groups, ‘Knitterati’ knitting sessions, and weekend Storytelling group 'Tell Me Another' . The Red Room is also available for local artists to exhibit their work, and the space is available to hire for events. They proudly continue to support the efforts of local events and groups such as the Arts Trail and Saltaire Festival.



They support the Red Fund a charity working to aid HIV and Aids in Zimbabwe.  As much as possible their goods are sourced locally or Fair Trade with cakes baked on site and food prepared fresh for each customer.  They are always keen to hear new ideas of how to create community within the area.

As a Cafe they are open Monday, Wednesday - Saturday between 10-5pm. And as a 5 course meal Bistro on Friday and Saturday nights from 7:30pm ..... (booking is essential for the evenings).  

So if you're local or just visiting, nip in for a cuppa and a chat, find out what they're about or even join in, they'll be more than pleased to see you.

Cups Tearooms, Scrabster.....a long way to go for a cuppa but well worth it!

How far would you go for a nice cuppa?  Well there's one thing for sure you can't go much further North and find a better cafe than Cups in Scrabster.  It's a quirky little place on Scrabster harbour. Inspired by the tearooms of old, they offer a real taste treat with the very best homemade cakes, scones, sandwiches and soups washed down with speciality teas from Brewhaha and freshly ground coffee from Brodies.

They use time tested family recipes which have been handed down through generations, but like to add a modern twist. They love to talk 'cake' so if you're a keen baker be ready to share your thoughts and ideas!  Ralph's passing on his White Chocolate Torte recipe.  You'll find them nestled into the side of the cliff in the port of Scrabster in Caithness. 





They consider themselves to be so lucky to be able to offer you a warm welcome in the little old village chapel, a truly beautiful building.

Only a couple of minutes walk from the Orkney Ferry, it's worth a stop to whet your whistle before your trip to the Orkney Islands. They have a super selection of old fashioned boiled sweets, pop some in your pocked for the journey! Or take an ice-cream to eat whilst you stroll to the terminal.

How about this for a
wedding cake with
a difference.....

Ros trained in cake decorating at the Paul Bradford Sugarcraft School and has a talent for creating wonderfully unique celebration cakes. She has produced many birthday and wedding cakes, each to her customers' individual specifications. There really isn't much she can't do, just take a look at the photo!

So why not consider a custom-created cake from Cups for your next celebration? Pop in and see them for a quote and to discuss your ideas.

What do do around Scrabster.....many thanks to Northlink Ferries for the info.

Visit a Castle - Only 12 miles from Scrabster is the Castle of Mey - the summer residence of the Queen Mother. A beautiful building, the Castle of Mey has much to offer the visitor, including a two acre garden, a tearoom and an animal centre. There are also many spectacular castle ruins in Caithness, including Castle SinclairGirnigoe which rests precariously on crumbling cliff formations!

Go to the beach or enjoy the scenery - the road along the north coast has some fantastic beaches, tiny harbours and beautiful scenery at Melvich, Strathy, Bettyhill, Armadale, The Kyle of Tongue and Durness. Taking this road will also lead you to the most north westerly point on the British mainland, Cape Wrath.

Reach the end of the road - Though the most northerly point in mainland Britain is nearby Dunnet Head, John O' Groats is one end of the longest distance between two points on the British mainland. The other point, of course, is Land's End. Many charity cycle runs or walks begin and end here. The village takes its name from Jan de Groot, a Dutchman who obtained a grant to run a ferry between the Scottish mainland to Orkney.

Enjoy some Retail Therapy - There are many lovely shops to visit in Thurso and Wick, both a short drive from Scrabster. On the outskirts of Wick is a new Retail Park which has a Tesco, Homebase, Edinburgh Woollen Mill, Pets at Home, Argos, New Look, Superdrug, and a CarpetRight.

View or do some surfing - Caithness waters are famed for big, fast and powerful waves. Thurso Bay, Dunnet Bay, Sinclairs Bay, Freswick Bay, Murkle Bay, Brims Ness, Sandside Bay, Melvich Bay, Strathy Bay, Armadale Bay, Farr Bay and Torrisdale are all recommended spots for surfers.

Do some bird watching - Caithness has a stunning natural landscape perfect for birds. A wide range of bird species are attracted to the bog filled, peaty landscapes of Caithness and also to the wild sea cliffs. RSPB reserves such as those at the cliffs of Dunnet Head and in the blanket bog and lochan country of Forsinard are particularly recommended.

Visit a museum - In the centre of Thurso is an excellent new museum, Caithness Horizons, which is definitely worth a visit. With free admission, Caithness Horizons offers a fascinating insight into the history, pioneering industrial past, wildlife and ecology of Caithness. The story of Dounreay - which shaped the recent economy and history of Caithness – is also featured.

Catch a fish - Caithness has some of the best Trout and Salmon fishing lochs and rivers in Scotland, including Loch Watten, Loch Calder, St John's Loch, Loch Heilen, Loch Toftingall, Wick River and Thurso River. Sea Anglers will enjoy fishing in the Pentland Firth which is home to haddock, wrass, ling and pollock. Harbour walls and rocks in Thurso Bay, Dunnet head, Longberry, Broadhaven, Sandigoe and Helman Head are ideal spots.

Have a game of golf - Caithness has many Golf Courses - maintained with enthusiasm by local golfers. Although some courses are quiet short, all are considered quite challenging, due to the terrain and weather. In Caithness you will experience golf courses populated with wildlife and wild plants, in a wild and natural setting, which is retained and cherished. Try Reay Golf Club, Thurso Golf Club, Wick Golf Club, Lybster Golf Club for challenging and rewarding golf for all ages and abilities.

Go hill walking - Caithness and Sutherland have a stunning landscape which offers superb choice for walkers. Walks along the coast to see dramatic cliff scenery, or inland to see castles and broches, are recommended. For hill walkers, the most northerly of the Munros, Ben Hope is found in Caithness, and on the border of Caithness and Surtherland are the famous hills, Morven and Maiden Pap. Aside from stunning views, walkers can expect to see deer, buzzards and eagles.

Easy Sticky Buns.....with rasins and pecans

So the Great British Bake Off had their buns out this week, but once again doing it the hard way.  Never let it be said Ralph doesn't try to make your life easier, so here's a foolproof, quick to make and extra tasty bun you can put in your oven.....OK I don't see why Mel and Sue should be the only ones to turn baking into a double entendre fest!

They're absolutely delicious filled with brown sugar, toasted pecans and rasins but the secret is they're made with ready-made puff pastry.  So get them baked and settle down with a nice cup of coffee!



Preparation time: 15 minutes
Cooking Time: 30 minutes
Serves: 12

Ingredients

• 170 g unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 60 g light brown sugar, lightly packed
• 110 g pecans , chopped in very large pieces
• 1x450g packet puff pastry

     For the filling
     

• 2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted and cooled
• 120 g light brown sugar
• 3 tsp cinnamon
• 200 g raisins

• Method

  
  
  
  
  
  1. Preheat the oven to 200C/gas 6. Place a 12-cup muffin tin on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
  
  2. Combine the butter and brown sugar either by hand or in a mixer. 
• Place 1 rounded tablespoon of the mixture in each of the 12 muffin cups. 
• Sprinkle the pecans evenly over the 12 muffin cups.
  
  3. For the filling: lightly flour a wooden board or worksurface. 
• Unfold one sheet of puff pastry into a rectangle with the long side nearest to you. 
• Brush the whole sheet with half of the melted butter. 
• Leaving a 2cm border on the puff pastry, sprinkle each sheet with half the brown sugar, half the cinnamon and half the raisins.
  
  4. Starting with the end nearest to you, roll the pastry up snugly like a Swiss roll around the filling, finishing the roll with the seam side down. 
• Trim the ends of the roll about 1 cm and discard. Slice the roll into 6 equal pieces, each about 3.5cm wide. 
• Place each piece, spiral side up, in 6 of the muffin cups. Repeat with the second sheet of puff pastry to make 12 sticky buns.
  
  5. Bake for 30 minutes, until the sticky buns are golden to dark brown on top and firm to the touch. Allow to cool for 5 minutes only, 
• invert the buns onto the parchment paper (ease the filling and pecans out onto the buns with a spoon), and allow to cool completely. 

•